- Helen Keller’s retarded cousin
As entertaining as Helen Keller’s retarded cousin’s antics were as I had storyboarded them out, I don’t really care to tell the rest of this story. Moving on.
- mint weed
A: This bush smells like mint.
B: That’s not mint – it’s a weed. You should rip that shit out.
Post – As it turns out, it was a raspberry bush.
- *ka kaw!*
B: The condor has landed!
A: Ahaha!
B: I’m glad you think it’s funny because that’s a lot of fucking condor yolk.
Post – I gave up on this picture because A likes a crackload of toasted.
- the south is just on hiatus
B: There’s not enough mint in this julep.
A: And it’s not muddled enough. We need more mint. And more muddling.
- death defying
B: I love to ride motorcycles very fast, very well.
A: My grandmother died while riding her scooter in Taiwan. She was hit from behind by a car.
- let’s stop this and start over. let’s go out. let’s keep going.
B: So what time should I pick you up?
A: Anytime after seven is okay.
B: So, 7:01? 7:30?
A: 7:01. Call when you’re out front.
A: 7:01. Wow. Just wow.
- meet the press
A: I like guys with tats and piercings.
B: I have many tattoos! And piercings!
- alpha and omega
I’m going to tell a story and it’s going to go kinda like this:
